$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
