so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
its liver damage thursday
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
