3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
