the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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