what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
