Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
