Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
