called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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