I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
