My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
