is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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