my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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