When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
