And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
