I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
