stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
