He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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