oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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