we have pet lesbian snakes
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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