He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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