My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
