i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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