Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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