And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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