brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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