I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
