oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
