You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
