I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There r osticjed everywhere
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize