It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
