there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
