my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
