i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
