birth control should be required to get into college
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
