Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
