there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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