right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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