I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
