I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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