Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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