I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
