Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
