how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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