all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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