I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
