my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
