Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
