the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
