yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
