Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
