weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
