yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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