Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
