It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
try to milk me bitch
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
