ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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