when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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