I cockslap morals
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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